When Kids Want What's Not
Best
Be careful of
manipulative questions from teens. They may not even realize what they're doing
but teens often ask questions or make statements to try to convince you to bend
the rules.
One of the questions is, "What's wrong with it?" We all have
a grid in our mind that allows us to make decisions about what we allow. When
our children get a little older then they challenge the grid by asking questions
like, "What's wrong with it?"
A young person may come to Dad and ask to
go hang out at the mall, or at a friend's house after school, or attend a party
on Friday night. What's wrong with those things? Maybe nothing, but the wise
parent knows that in those situations bad things can develop. Unfortunately, the
teenager may not be able to see it. The restriction just doesn't seem
reasonable.
It takes a pretty committed and insightful parent to address
that kind of issue and many fail. "Well, I guess you could go to that party, and
hang out after school at your boy friend’s house" and…pretty soon things happen
that change the course of the child's life.
"What's wrong with it?" is a
question that misses the point. It's like creating a soup. We're not just
throwing things into a bowl. We are hand picking the ingredients to make this
soup nutritious, not just looking for all the possible non-dangerous things to
add.
The same thing is true with your children. Don't allow them to
convince you to make changes you know aren't in their best interest. Sometimes
as a parent you have to take the difficult road of saying 'no' because you know
what danger a 'yes' might allow.
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