Reaching your kids when disaster strikes

Parents,

The news coming out of Connecticut is devastating to all of us. How could such a horrific thing happen in our country, in a school just like the ones the kids in our ministries attend? I'm sure you have lots of questions, just like I do, but as we try to figure out pieces of this tragedy, we must remember that the children we minister to have heard this news, also. They will have a huge array of reactions. Some will be scared to the point of nightmares. Others will hardly pay attention to it, because it doesn't feel real. Most of the kids, though, will take this like everything else new they are experiencing and learning-with lots of questions as they process it.

Below you will find some things that we are going to do to prepare to be with our kiddos this weekend. We have spent some time thinking through how we are going to handle this unique situation which will prepare us to lead.

1. Listen.

If the kids want to tell us what they heard about the killings in Connecticut, then we let them put it into words. As they voice what is bouncing around in their heads, it's a good step in bringing some order to their thoughts. It will also make you aware of any misinterpretations or false information.

2. Pray.

We will listen first, so we have a reading on what the children are feeling. Then, go to prayer-fervent prayer of humility. This is the perfect time to teach kids that we start out praying. It's not our last resort. As a group, begin praying today for the families and the other kids at the Connecticut school, and continue to pray for them in the weeks ahead.

3. Talk in small groups.

The emotion of a large group, as kids fill in the details they have overheard, can cause more harm than good. This Sunday, if need be, we will talk with small groups of children in an orderly fashion. This will also give more children the opportunity to speak their thoughts.

4. Allow them to be sad, or mad, or angry.

If squelched now, those feelings will find a way to come out eventually. Acknowledge that this incident makes us feel a lot of different ways. God is not afraid of our emotions-He made them for our benefit-and they have their time and place.

5. Be truthful. Don't pretend to have all the answers.

We don't, so we will be authentic with the kids and admit that we're working through this along with them. Tell them how your heart was crushed and your eyes welled with tears when you heard what had happened to these children.

6. Give short answers.

As a child asks a question, a whole dissertation is flashing through our mind. We will keep your answers very short, because that's really what they want at this point.

7. Don't displace your reactions on the children.

Children easily pick up drastic reactions, comments, and emotions of people they look up to. Be cautious with what you say, in front of them or what they may overhear.

8. Assure them that we will do everything in our power to keep them safe.

All the safety measures that we have in place are because you love them and want them to be safe.

9. Watch for children who display extreme anxiety over this incident.

We see children in a different environment than parents normally do, and kids' church may be the place where anxiety is more easily noticeable. We won't hesitate to talk with a parent in private if a child is displaying reactions far beyond what the other children are.

10. Remind them that this was NOT from God.

We will help kids understand that there is evil in the world, and it was that evil that brought this about.

Know that I will be praying for all of us this weekend as we minister to the precious children God has entrusted us with.

-Love you all-
Pastor Tiffany